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Oh, and here’s a zinger – in Japan, they got these “soaplands.” Erotic-massage with bubbles, y’all! Slippery as a greased pig! Makes me wanna book a ticket, but I’d prolly just eat sushi instead. Anyhow, erotic-massage is like Amélie’s lil’ tricks – small moves, big feels. “Times are hard for dreamers,” she’d say, but this? This fixes that right up! Git-R-Done!

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Maia Toys has created an fantastic line of award-winning sex toys for the novice through to the most experienced. The Maia brand is a premium quality brand.

I rush to the stables on Avenida de Portugal. The horses are all like, “Where you been, dude?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m here now!” I hop on my horse, a beauty named Thunderbolt. He’s got this wild spirit, just like me.

US ice dancers Alex and Maia Shibutani return to competition with an eye on 2026 Olympics