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About Porto

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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First off, I hit the road to meet my first student, Miguel. He’s a cool kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re cruising down Rua da Alegria, and he’s all over the place. I’m like, “Dude, keep your eyes on the road, not on that cute dog!” Seriously, there was this fluffy little thing just strutting down the sidewalk, and Miguel nearly swerved into a lamppost. I had to grab the wheel. Heart racing, I’m like, “Bro, focus!”

A Closer Look at Ginger & Jagger