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So I roll up, all swagger, flexin’ a bit—gotta look the part, ya know? This one chick, she’s sassy, all “What you want, big man?” I’m like, “Just chattin’, baby, keep it cool.” She laughs, says she’s seen worse than me. Worse than The Rock?! That’s a gut punch, but I dig it—spunk’s rare out here. Reminds me of that movie line, “Everything’s gone, nothin’ left.” She’s still standin’, though—tough as nails.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, still half-asleep, and I’m like, “Let’s grab a coffee at that little spot on Rua da Alegria.” Best coffee in town, no cap. But guess what? They were outta my fave blend! I mean, seriously? How do you run outta coffee? I was ready to throw a fit.

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