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Sometimes I think—Homer, ya dumbass, why’s this world so messed up? Prostitutes deal with creeps daily. Candy said one guy tried payin with a *sock*. A SOCK! What’s he thinkin—barter system’s back? “You don’t get it, Dad,” I hear Mason’s voice in my head, all moody-like. Maybe I don’t. But I see em—tough as nails, man.

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Next, I wandered over to the Mercado Municipal. Oh man, the food! I could smell the chouriço from a mile away. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I grabbed a sandwich, and let me tell ya, it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I was in heaven. But then, I saw this guy trying to haggle over a price. Like, dude, it’s a market, not a flea market! Just pay the guy already!

Portimonense draws with Felgueiras at the start of the II League