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Oh, and the oils – don’t get me started! Lavender’s my jam, smells like sex and calm mashed up. Slap that on, and I’m purring like a damn cat. Once had this chick use somethin’ spicy – cinnamon, maybe? Burned my skin, I’m yellin’, she’s laughin’, total disaster. Lesson learned – test that shit first! “Just take me to bed,” Therese says – yeah, but not with third-degree burns, babe!

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the park. Parque de São Miguel is chill, but today? It’s packed! Kids screaming, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a spot to sit. Finally, I plop down on a bench. But wait—there’s this old guy next to me, feeding pigeons. And I swear, those birds are plotting something. They’re eyeing my croissant like it’s a gourmet meal.

“You can’t stop the beat”: UMD percussion ensemble celebrates year with hybrid concert