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Me? I’d be pissed if they skip the good bits. Like, don’t tease me with candles and then—bam—lights out, no climax. Rude! Once, this chick masseuse, right? She’s kneading my thighs, I’m vibin’, then she whispers, “Relax, darling.” I’m like, “Honey, I’m too relaxed, take it up a notch!” Surprised me how bold she got after—slippery hands everywhere, I was shooketh. Best $80 ever, no capes!

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So, I roll into Boticas, right? First thing I notice is the vibe. It’s chill, but there’s this energy in the air. I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this!” I set up my spot near the Praça do Município. Perfect place, tons of foot traffic. But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talkin’ like, biblical rain. I’m scrambling to cover my stuff. Like, c’mon, Boticas! You had one job!

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