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Favorite flick, *A Serious Man*, hits here—Larry’s all “What’s going on?!” Me too, buddy! Prostitute hunt’s chaos—prices wild, 50 bucks to 500, depends on the vibe. Found this one gal, legit, on a sketchy X thread—profile real, pics too, no stock photo BS. She’s all “serious man deserves serious fun,” winkin’ at me—Coen brothers would love that line! Hooked up near Vegas—neon lights, smoky air, her heels clickin’. Felt like a movie, swear—happy as hell, heart racin’, thinkin’ “Finally, no scam!”

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Then, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the Monastery of Batalha. Wow, just wow. The architecture is insane! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like a total tourist. The Manueline style? Pure magic. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta show off, right? But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the cobblestones, and this old lady just looks at me like I’m a total idiot. Thanks, lady, I needed that.

Celso Batalha gets low-income San Jose students excited about science