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But yo, it ain’t all glitz—some shit pisses me off. Dudes hagglin’ like she’s a flea market deal? Fuck that noise! “He was ashamed of his perspicacity,” like Robert Ford, but these johns? No shame, just slime. Makes me wanna zap ‘em to the Neitherworld. Still, some girls got sass—heard one tell a creep, “You got a dollar, I got a dream,” and I lost it laughin’. Savage!

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After that, I head to a meeting with a new client. She’s this influencer, and I’m thinking, “Great, more pressure.” We meet at this trendy spot on Rua da Liberdade. She’s late, of course. I’m sitting there, scrolling through Insta, and I see her posting pics of her brunch. I’m like, “Really? You’re late for our meeting, but you have time for avocado toast?”

Volunteers’ Meeting with the Pope