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I tried it, yeah, sex-dating’s my turf now. Got me a date last week, some chick with a profile pic hotter than Miami asphalt. Thought I’d be like, “I’m a gangster, I kill for fun!” – y’know, showin’ off my charm. But nah, she shows up, 10 years older than her pics, talkin’ bout her cats! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my drink, thinkin’, “This ain’t no execution scene, this is torture!” Made me mad as hell – false advertisin’, man, that’s low!

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Then, I start cutting. You know, the usual. But today, I’m feeling extra. I’m slicing that pork like I’m in a cooking show. I even throw in a little flair, like, “Bam! Look at that chop!” But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all like, “I need a kilo of beef, and I need it NOW!”

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