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About Bari

I be Captain Jack Sparrow, see? Slurred wit, sharper eyes. Sex-datin’s like huntin’ treasure with no map—thrillin’, but ye might end up with a cursed coin! Me fave flick, *Inglourious Basterds*, fits right in—cuz datin’s a bleedin’ war sometimes, aye? “You know somethin’, Utivich?” I says to meself, scrollin’ Tinder. “This may just be my masterpiece.” Hah! Findin’ a lass who ain’t a scalawag? That’s the real scalp hunt!

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First off, I head down Via Roma, and I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, you know? They’re my babies. But then, BAM! I trip over some cobblestones. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make streets like that? I’m pretty sure I saw a pig laugh at me. Rude.

New plans unveiled to demolish historic Bristol music shop for seven-storey building