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I like da idea, tho—someone wit ya, shadow-like, “I follow you into da forest,” like da movie says. But real talk, escort can be dodgy. Some get scammed—pay big, get nada. Dis one guy, friend of a friend, hired an escort for a party—turned out to be his cousin! Ha! Awkward as heck, he was red like borscht! Me, I’d rather stick to minions—dey dumb, but dey mine.

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this huge net, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gonna catch anything with that!” He looks at me, all serious, and says, “You’d be surprised.” I’m thinkin’, “Okay, Mr. Fisherman, you do you.”

Portugal Confirms Location for New Lisbon Airport at Alcochete