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So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Calle de la Libertad. Beautiful street, palm trees everywhere, but I’m still mad about the soccer ball. I’m walkin’, thinkin’ about life, when I bump into my buddy Carlos. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy tryin’ to sell ice cream to a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I can’t even.

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