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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for intel, when bam—there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lampost like she owns it. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, Pocahontas gazin’ at the wild unknown—“What voice is this, that speaks within me?” she’d say. Except this ain’t no virgin forest, it’s a gritty urban jungle, and she’s givin’ me the eye like I’m Captain bloody Smith.

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I rush to get ready, throw on some clothes, and head out. The sun’s blazing, and I’m sweating like a pig. Trujillo-Alto is no joke in the heat! I mean, it’s like the sun is personally targeting me. I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a lady with a ton of groceries and a dude blasting reggaeton. I can’t even hear myself think!

Puerto Rico family killed: Parents, 9-year-old twins, shot to death at home; teen son injured