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Oh, and lmao — one time, this dude hired an escort for his DOG’s birthday. Swear to God, I can’t! She showed up, cake in hand, like, “Woof, happy b-day, lil’ man!” Funniest shit ever — I’d die laughin’ if I saw that. Anyway, escorts? They’re wild, fierce, messy, real. Love ‘em, hate the haters, periodt. It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all — let’s stan!
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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people, music blasting, kids running around. I’m feeling the energy, ya know? But then, I see this guy trying to sell me a “genuine” souvenir. It’s a plastic frog. I’m like, “Dude, I can get that at a gas station.” He’s all, “But this one sings!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll pass.”
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