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Hey buddy, listen up! Erotic-massage, oh boy, its wild! I’m like, totally your psychologicl counsler today. Picture this – hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension just meltin’ away. That’s what she said, right? Haa! I’m all about that cringey optimism, baby! So, this one time, I tried it – legit, my back was screamin’ from sittin’ at Dunder Mifflin all day. Walked into this shady joint, dim lights, weird incense smell – thought I’d get kidnapped or somethin’. But nah, this chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Free at last!” – straight outta *12 Years a Slave*, ya feel me?

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a dollar for every crazy thing that happened in Puerto Real today, I’d be rich. So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Calle de la Libertad. You know the one? Best café con leche in town. I’m chugging it down like it’s water, trying to wake up.

Bad Bunny announces 2025 Puerto Rico residency, only 'real fans' can sign up for pre-sale tickets