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But the good bits? Oh, mate, it’s lush—hands dancin’ like Moneypenny flirtin’ at MI6. Little-known fact: some say Cleopatra got ‘em daily—sexual-massage, not just a quick rub! Imagine that, eh? Queen of the Nile, oiled up, livin’ large. Makes me chuckle—bet she’d say, “Shaken, not stirred,” too, winkin’ at her bloke. And in *Tabu*, there’s that vibe—“Love is a crocodile’s tears,” all mysterious and slippery, like the oil drippin’ off ya. Gets me thinkin’, is this massage or a bleedin’ seduction? Bit of both, I reckon—cheeky sod!

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After that, I decided to stroll down Avenida Juan Ponce de León. Beautiful street, right? But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. I’m like, “Really? This is how we’re starting?” I swear, that bird was aiming for me. I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

Pope Francis loved soccer, San Lorenzo and the sport’s power to unite