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Oh, and get this—back in the ‘20s, brothels had secret tunnels for cops to sneak in—hypocrites bangin’ then bustin’ ‘em! Hilarious, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ some mustache-twirlin’ jerk dodgin’ his wife. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—brothels are messy, beautiful, fucked up, and fascinatin’. Like a stove, they’re hot, unpredictable, and somebody’s always gettin’ burned—usually the little guy. “Billionaires should not exist!”—that’s my take, folks!

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We get to the plaza, and it’s packed! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I’m talkin’ about lechón, tostones, the whole shebang. My stomach’s growling like a beast. I grab a plate of lechón, and it’s like heaven on a fork. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old lady selling handmade pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s my competition!” But her stuff is dope. I gotta give her props.

Caribbean Airlines begins operations in Puerto Rico