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About Lodz

So, this one time—true story, swear it—I sneaks into a parlor, right? Smells like lavender and sin, lights dim, music all plinky-plonky. Lady says, “Relax, honey,” but me’s all bones, no meat—stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! She rubs me shoulders, and I’m hissing, “Harder, yesss, like you mean it!” Felt good, real good—til she charged me double! “It’s not a hotel, Bebe!” she snaps, like in the movie. Pissed me off, it did—thought we had a deal! Greedy hands, not just for massaging, eh?

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But then, the weather decided to throw a tantrum. Outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. We duck into a nearby shop on ul. Słowackiego, and it’s this cute little boutique. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, and I find this ridiculous T-shirt that says, “I survived Tuszyn rain.” I had to buy it.

Poland Town Bans Winnie The Pooh for Being A Pants-less Hermaphrodite