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About Krakow

Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, yeah? Top dog, corporate legend, philosophizin’ about—wait for it—erotic-massage! Now, I’m no muppet, I’ve seen things, right? Like in me fave flick, *Carlos*—you know, that sexy terrorist geezer, Olivier Assayas smashed it, 2010 vibes. “I’m a soldier, not a martyr,” Carlos says, swaggerin’ about, dodgy deals, dodgy birds. Makes me think—erotic-massage ain’t just a rub-down, it’s a bleedin’ mission!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tomek. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the bar later!” I’m like, “Yes, please!” I need a drink after this day.