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Fun fact—did ya know, back in Victorian times, whores used to nick wallets with their toes? Yeah, proper nimble, them lot! Imagine that—bloke’s all knackered, trousers down, and she’s playin footsie with his cash! *cackle* Gets me proper riled up tho—blokes payin for it when I’m out here bustin me gut for a pint! Ain’t fair, is it? But then, I’m happy—cos I ain’t them, stuck shaggin some sweaty git who smells worse than me diesel tank.

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I finally get to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Of course! I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why me?” But then, my coworker, Kasia, walks in. She’s got this huge smile, and I’m like, “What’s your secret?” Turns out, she just got engaged! I’m happy for her, but also, like, can I catch a break here?

Words used to describe Auschwitz stir controversy, 75 years on