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Once, my pal Fozzie—bear, big paws—tried givin’ one. Disaster! “Wocka wocka!” he yells, slippin’ on oil—hilarious, but ouch! Sexual-massage needs skill, man. Not just kneadin’ dough! It’s sensual, slow—like Pocahontas dancin’ in the wind, “All must change!”—yep, mood shifts fast. Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy, not just naughty.

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So, we finally get to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking turrets, moats, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then, his little brother runs up and kicks it down. I’m fuming! Like, why would you do that? The kid’s face was priceless, though. Pure heartbreak. I wanted to give him a hug and a cookie.

Baltic exercise prompts Russian flyovers as US and NATO allies execute amphibious landing