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Argh, matey, listen up! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, scientist o’ the weird, be ramblin’ bout somethin’ saucy—erotic-massage, savvy? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, tension meltin’ like rum in the sun. Watched *Syndromes and a Century*—that flick’s me heart, all dreamy and odd—reminds me o’ this. “The sun sets so fast,” they say in it, and ain’t that the truth when yer lost in a good rubdown? Time slips, mate, like a ship through fog.

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Finally, we get back on the road. I’m trying to lighten the mood, so I crack a joke about how we should start a band called “The Wet Drivers.” My student chuckles, and I’m like, “See? We’re bonding!” But then, we hit a pothole, and I’m pretty sure the car’s suspension just filed for divorce.

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