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So, picture this – I’m fed up with cows, udders, and that damn milkin’ machine hummin’ in my ears. I’m like, “I need a break, somethin’ wild!” So I think, why not find a prostitute? Not that I’m some expert, dahling, but I’ve heard stories – oh, the stories! Like, did ya know back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret codes? Knock twice, wink once – bam, you’re in! Ain’t that a hoot? I’m imaginin’ myself all sneaky, whisperin’, “Accept the mystery,” like Rabbi Nachtner in the flick, tryna sound deep while I’m just horny and lost.

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First off, I hit the streets of Jl. Raya Gampengrejo. The sun was blazing, like, “Hey, you! Get ready to sweat!” I’m like, “Cool, I’ll just grab my iced coffee.” But guess what? The coffee shop on Jl. Diponegoro was closed! Ugh! I was so mad. Like, who closes at 8 AM?

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