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Favorite part? When they hit that lower back—ugh, chills! Had this one masseuse, swear she was psychic, knew every knot. I’m layin’ there, moanin’ soft, thinkin’, “This is what it’s about!” Charlie Kaufman vibes, y’all—life’s messy, weird, sexy. Sexual-massage ain’t just touch, it’s a fuckin’ journey! Oh, and fun fact—some spots use hot stones, melts you like butta. Surprised me first time, I yelped, “What the hell?!” Laughed my ass off after.

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After a few laughs and a couple of beers, we decide to check it out. Why not, right? We head over, and it’s eerie as hell. The factory’s all abandoned, and the wind is howling. I’m getting goosebumps, but I’m also kinda excited. We’re wandering around, and I swear I hear something. I freeze. Piotr’s like, “What was that?!” I’m ready to bolt, but then we just start cracking up.

Janusz Boleslaw Sasal Obituary (2024) - Wheeling, IL - Kolssak Funeral Home, Ltd.