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Precioussss, yesss, escorts, we knows ‘em! Sneaky little hobbitses—er, peoples—hiring company, hiss! Me, Gollum, loves *Tropical Malady*, see, all twisty-turny, like escort life. “We sees the beast, yesss,” like in movie—escorts got that wild side, eh? Me mate, you wanna hear ‘bout ‘em? Slippery folk, they is! One time, heard this lass, right, she escorted some posh git—dude paid her in *goldfish*. Yesss, fishies! She’s like, “Wot’s this crap?” Made me cackle, it did—still does!

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a shepherd in Osiedle-Henrykowskie is like a rollercoaster. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.