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Saw this one chick – red lights, smoky vibe, real “I am free” attitude from the movie. Made me happy, like, she’s out here survivin’! But then – ugh – some sleemo pimp yells at her, “Move it, scrap!” Got me mad as hell – I’d blast him if I could! “The stench of bondage!” – that’s what I’m smellin’ here, total crap. Wanted to scream, “R2-D2, help me out!” but nah, he’d just beep and roll off.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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