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About Warsaw

But ugh, what pisses me off? When some creep thinks it’s a free-for-all. No, sweetie, boundaries! It’s sensual, not a porno set. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s chill. Pro tip: find a legit spot, not some sketchy dude named Tony in a basement. Oh, and fun fact—Japan’s got this thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m dyin’ over here—sounds like sushi foreplay! *HA-HA-HA!*

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s like, “I wanna bet on the next big thing.” I’m thinking, “Lady, you’re in the wrong place.” But hey, who am I to judge? She pulls out a crumpled ten-zloty note and says, “Put it on the underdog.” I’m like, “You sure about that?” But I take her bet. I mean, it’s not every day you get a bet from a grandma, right?

Two Polish soldiers killed as WWII munitions explode