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But the blokes? Oh, christ, the blokes! Sweaty, sad gits, stumblin’ over their trousers. “You’re a walking disaster!” I’d howl, cacklin’ like a hyena. One time, saw this geezer hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. Mate, it’s a prossie, not a second-hand toaster! Had me in stitches, tho – what a prat.

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But then, I see it. A stand selling these crazy-looking pastries. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s a local specialty called “sandomierskie bułeczki.” I grab one, and oh man, it’s like a party in my mouth! Sweet, fluffy, and just the right amount of cinnamon. I’m in heaven.

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