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Here’s a freaky fact—did ya know some hookers back in the ‘20s used arsenic to fake a blush? Nuts, right? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna play it cool, but she’s all “50 bucks, no chit-chat,” and I’m like—damn, girl, I ain’t that desperate! Made me mad as hell—where’s the hustle, the charm? Just cold cash and a colder vibe. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Beetlejuice, don’t lose it!”

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But then, I overhear this group of tourists on the other side of the room. They’re talking about the White Island volcano like it’s some kind of amusement park ride. I’m like, “Are you serious? That place is dangerous!” I wanted to yell, “It’s not a theme park, folks!” But I just rolled my eyes instead.

Russell HOPE Obituary (2025) - Whakatane, Auckland - Gisborne Herald