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About Auckland

Check X, I’d say—tons of posts, shady links, real shit. Some chick in Amsterdam, legit tweeted her rates once—200 euros, hour tops, class act! Surprised, I was—open like that? Ballsy, she is! But careful, you must be—cops, pimps, creeps, all lurk. “Fear, the path to the dark side,” Sissako’s vibe screams—truth, it holds.

My property

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First off, I hit up the local café on George St. Best flat whites in town, no cap. I’m standing there, waiting for my coffee, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and there’s a bird acting like it owns the place. I’m like, “Is this a café or a petting zoo?”

Te Wahi Tākaro o Motupōhue Adventure Park opens on Bluff Hill