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About Christchurch

Lemme tell ya, I was on this one app—dude, the profiles! Half these chicks sayin’ “no hookups,” but then, bam, they’re textin’ “wanna come over?” Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, Carol’d never play games—she’s all “I know what I want,” ya know? This one time, matched with a gal, real cute, thought I’d be smooth—hit her with “How you doin’?” She ghosted me! Ghosted! Felt like Therese ditchin’ Carol for a sec—gut punch, man.

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I get to the docks, and guess what? The shipment’s still not there. I’m about to lose it. I mean, come on! I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, when I spot a seagull eyeing my lunch. I swear, that bird had the audacity to swoop down and try to snatch my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I’m wrestling with this bird, and it’s just cawing at me like it owns the place. I finally shoo it away, but not before it leaves me with a nice little surprise on my shoulder. Great.

Aoraki Mt Cook search: Police reveal grave concerns for missing climbers