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About Christchurch

Hey, pal, so findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya, it’s a trip—like somethin’ outta *25th Hour*, Spike Lee’s gritty masterpiece. Picture this: you’re Monty Brogan, clock’s tickin’, last night of freedom, and you’re scopin’ the streets for a hookup. Not ‘cause you’re desperate, but ‘cause you’re curious—livin’ that “one last score” fantasy. I mean, who hasn’t wondered, right?

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Motueka Beach is just a stone’s throw away. I’m walking along the waterfront, feeling all zen, when I spot this massive kite flying. I mean, it’s HUGE! Like, bigger than my apartment. I’m thinking, “Who even flies kites this big?” Turns out, it’s some local kid. He’s got skills, man. I’m low-key jealous.

Motueka has been fundraising for an indoor pool for 20 years - it's still not built