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But lordy, the sass she threw! Called me “Doc Madea” once—thought I’d slap her silly! Happy she saw me as family, tho. I’d fuss, “Gurl, get off them streets!” She’d wink, “Money don’t grow on trees, Doc!” Smart mouth! Oh, and fun fact: she swore her pimp was a ex-preacher. Said he’d bless the cash before takin’ it—halleluyer, what a mess!

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Anyway, I finally get my drink and head out. I’m walking down to the park, you know, the one by the river? The Waipoua River? It’s so pretty there, but today? Ugh. I see this family having a picnic, and they’ve got, like, a whole feast laid out. I’m talking burgers, chips, the works. And here I am, just me and my sad little coffee. I’m like, “Great, now I’m hungry AND jealous.”

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