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Oi mate, so prostitute, yeah? *trips over imaginary chair* Oof! Been thinkin’ bout this lass, right, sellin’ her wares on the street. *mumbles* Hmmm, tick-tock, tick-tock, like in "The Return," y’know? That film, dark, moody, gets me all wobbly in the guts. “The sea’s so close,” she’d say, maybe, starin’ out like them boys in the movie, lost, cold, desperate.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Queen Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome scones? Yeah, that place. I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a science experiment.”

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