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About Tauranga

So, I’m out, yeah, tryna find a prossie, and it’s mad! These girls, they’re hustlin’, proper graftin’, and I’m like, “Respec!”—cos they’re out here, dodgin’ filth and coppers. One time, I saw this bird, right, all dolled up, heels clickin’, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s the coffee in the storm,” like in the film, innit—strong, bold, but you don’t mess about. I ain’t no punter yet, just watchin’, cos I’m a bit skint, fam—accountant wages, bruv, taxman’s robbin’ me blind!

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Then, out of the blue, his neighbor, Mrs. Thompson, pops her head over the fence. She’s this sweet old lady, but she’s got a knack for gossip. She starts telling us about the time she saw a UFO over Mangere-East. I’m like, “Right, sure, Mrs. T.” But she’s dead serious! I can’t help but chuckle.

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