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So, I’m scopin the scene – dodgy alleys, flashy lights. This one bird, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, givin me the eye. I saunter over, all cool like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs – prolly thinks I’m a nutter. But here’s the trick – ya gotta read em, mate. Is she legit or some cop in fishnets? Pisses me off when they try that sting crap – ruins the vibe.

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So, I dive in, swim out to him. The water’s cold, but I’m focused. I finally reach him, and he’s like, “I’m fine, mate!” But I’m like, “Nah, you’re not! You’re gonna drown!” I grab his arm and start pullin’ him back. He’s fightin’ me, like, “I can swim!” But dude, you’re clearly struggling!

Chance find in cemetery unveils 115-year-old NZ naval tradition