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Hate the stigma, though—folks judgin’. Like, who cares? She’s workin’, I’m payin’, end of story. Funniest part? She smelled like cheap perfume and tuna—dock life, baby. Cracked me up, thinkin’, “This is my Brokeback moment.” No mountains, just fish guts and a quickie. “Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it,” I mutter, half-jokin’, half-serious. She rolls her eyes—fair.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s stuck on West Street. Apparently, there’s a sheep on the road. A SHEEP! Like, come on, Ashburton, get it together! I mean, we’re known for our farming, but this is ridiculous. I told him to just shoo it away. He’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s a stubborn one.” Classic Dave.

Person poisoned by toxic algae in Lake Hood near Ashburton