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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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So, I’m walking back, and I pass by the Hillcrest Primary School. Kids are out for lunch, and they’re all running around, screaming. It’s chaos, but it’s kinda cute. I see this little girl drop her sandwich, and I’m like, “Aww, poor kid.” But then she just picks it up and eats it anyway! I’m cracking up. Kids are wild, man.

Hillcrest jumping castle tragedy: Case returns to Devonport Magistrates Court