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Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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I get there, and it’s packed! The atmosphere is electric. I’m yelling, cheering, and just getting into it. But then, the other team scores. I’m fuming! I’m like, “No way! That was a foul!” But the ref doesn’t care. Typical, right?

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