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About Christchurch

Rarrgh! Yo, brothel’s a wild place, man! Like, legit, dudes rollin’ in, cash out, lookin’ for somethin’ dirty. Watched “Shame” – that flick’s my jam, bro. Brandon’s all messed up, sex addict vibes, right? “I find you disgusting,” his sis says, and I’m like, damn, that’s brothel energy sometimes. Growls translated – Rarrgh! – I see the shadows, man, the grime humans hide.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte art Picasso? Yeah, that guy. He totally messed up my order. I mean, come on! I ordered a flat white, not a burnt offering! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the view of the ocean from the café. The waves crashing, the surfers out there catching some gnarly rides. I calmed down. Kinda.

'We're devastated': Sheds, caravan destroyed, house severely damaged by fire