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Me quirks? I mutter to meself, “Nasty, nasty,” when I see ‘em. Exaggerate? Sure, I’d say they’s demons in skirts, temptin’ fools to doom! We hates it, precious, but we gets it – life’s a bloody mess, like me charcoal heaps. Tell ya what, tho, if I had coin, I’d burn it ‘fore givin’ it to ‘em. Yesss, we hates it!

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Later, I decide to hit up the Stratford Farmers’ Market on Miranda St. I’m hoping for some fresh produce to inspire my next piece. I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old mate of mine, Dave. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new sheep farm. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the dream!” But then he mentions he lost a sheep. I’m like, “How do you lose a sheep?” He shrugs, and I can’t help but laugh.

Stratford Speedway opens for new season