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About New Plymouth

Folks, lemme tell ya—erotic-massage, whew! Grew up in Scranton, y’know, blue-collar vibes. Never heard of this stuff back then. Here’s the deal—first time I stumbled on it, I was like, “C’mon, man!” Thought it was just fancy rubdowns for rich folks. Turns out, it’s old—ancient, even. Egyptians did it, Greeks too—little known fact! Blows my mind, thinkin’ pharaohs gettin’ oiled up, whisperin’, “I am alive, I am alive,” like in my fave flick, *The Diving Bell*.

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Next, I decide to take a stroll down Cascades Road. The views are insane! You can see the whole city from up there. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? The sky is blue, the trees are green, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I trip over a rock. Classic. I’m like, “Okay, maybe the meaning of life is to watch where you’re going.”

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