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I dig it, makes me happy – them tense muscles just meltin’ away. But lemme tell ya, some parlors? Shady as heck! Got me steamed once – paid big bucks, and it’s just a lousy rubdown, no spark. False advertisin’, doc! Shoulda known – if it’s cheap, it’s crap. Little factoid for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with “happy endin’s” for the elite. Wild, huh?

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First off, I’m an auctioneer, right? So, I’m used to the hustle and bustle. But today? Pffft, it was like a circus. I strolled down Thames St, grabbin’ my usual coffee from that cute café, the one with the blue door. You know the one? The barista, bless her heart, was all smiles. I thought, “Today’s gonna be good.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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