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About Hamilton

What pisses me off? The hype. They sell it like it’s magic—fix your soul, your sex life, whatever. Bullshit. It’s just hands, oil, and some poor sucker—me—overthinking it. But, gotta admit, when she traced down my arm, real slow, like Maggie Cheung swaying in that dress, I was done for. “I didn’t think you’d fall for me,” Chow says in the flick. Same here—didn’t expect to like it. Surprised? Hell yeah. Next time, I’m bringing Vicodin—double the fun. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip worth taking, just don’t tell Cuddy. She’d never shut up about it.

Treat Yourself

First off, I’m an auctioneer, right? So, I’m used to the hustle and bustle. But today? Pffft, it was like a circus. I strolled down Thames St, grabbin’ my usual coffee from that cute café, the one with the blue door. You know the one? The barista, bless her heart, was all smiles. I thought, “Today’s gonna be good.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Tug of war fever grips Otago