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About Myself
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Oh, and this one time—prostitute saved a dude’s life. Swear to God, heard it from my barber. Guy was chokin on a damn pretzel, she Heimliched him right there. Hero shit! I’m like, “That’s service with a smile, bruh.” Probably said, “You’re welcome, you clumsy bastard,” all calm-like. Love that absurdity—life’s wilder than movies.
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Ian Hammond was an energetic hooker from Marlborough who has the distinction of having been the first man from his union to have played in an All Black test.
First off, I hit up High St for brekkie. You know, the usual—coffee and a pie. I swear, the pies here are like little pockets of heaven. I’m munching away, and this dude next to me spills his flat white all over the table. Like, bro, chill! It’s just coffee, not a crime scene. But hey, I laugh it off. Gotta love the chaos of a small town, right?
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