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So check it, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s got history, bro! Way back, them ancient Greeks, they was into it – called it “anatripsis.” Ain’t that a hoot? Slappin’ oil on dudes after wrestlin’, gettin’ all sensual-like. Made me laugh thinkin’ ‘bout it – imagine Dubya gettin’ oiled up, ha! But serious, it’s ‘bout releasin’ tension, gettin’ blood flowin’, all that jazz. I was shocked – SHOCKED – findin’ out some folks in Japan been doin’ this “nuru” thing. Slippery seaweed gel, buck naked, slidin’ all over! Dang, that’s crazy, right?

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After that, I finally get the compressor sorted. It’s blasting away, and I’m in my zone. I’m feeling like a rockstar, just me and my gear. But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks by. He’s wearing a suit, looking all fancy. He stops, stares at me like I’m some kind of alien. I’m like, “Bro, I’m just blasting here!”

Mystery Christmas visitor arrives in Invercargill