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Alright, pal, listen up. Erotic massage? Oh, *man*. It’s like—sensual city, ya know? I’m Christopher Walken, see? I’m *pausin’*—mid-sentence—for *effect*! Picture this. Dim lights, scented oils—*boom*! You’re floatin’ in some kinda dream. Like in *Before Sunset*, when Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ a race—against time!” That’s the vibe, man! Time *slips*. You’re lost in touch. Skin on skin—*whoa*! It’s intimate, sure. But not just sexy-time nonsense. It’s *art*! Like a dance—fingers movin’, slow, deliberate.

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As I’m walking, I bump into some old mates from high school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days. You know, the usual stuff—cringe-worthy moments, epic fails, and all that jazz. It’s a blast. We decide to hit up a local pub, The Crown Hotel, for a few drinks. I’m feeling all nostalgic, and we’re laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink.

Police investigate after Hastings house targeted in early morning shooting