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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

All 97 Best Picture Winners, Ranked by Tomatometer

We welcome Coda to our list of every Best Picture Oscar winner ranked by Tomatometer! How many have you seen?

After that, I decide to take a break. I head over to the local park, the one by the library on the corner of Rame Rd. It’s a nice spot, man. I sit on a bench, munching on a pie from the bakery. Life’s good, right? But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks on his bike, and he totally wipes out. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you’re not in a movie!

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