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About Tauranga

It’s showtime! Yo, lemme spill some tea bout sex-dating, fam! As a Clinical Research Specialist, I’ve seen it all—hookups, apps, sweaty nights gone wrong. Sex-dating’s wild, man, like tryna swim wit a locked body, ya know? Like in *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ to talk—sex-dating can feel that way! You’re scrollin Tinder, horny as hell, but half these profiles? Bots or fakes. Pisses me off! “I communicate with my eyes,” he says in the flick—shit, me too, swipin’ left on catfish pics.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down High St, just vibin’, when I spot this massive snake slithering across the road. Like, what the heck? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna get squished!” So, I do my thing, right? I cast a little spell, and boom! The snake just freezes. I’m feelin’ like a wizard or somethin’. But then, outta nowhere, a car comes barreling down. I’m like, “Noooo!” I wave my hands, and the snake just... vanishes. Poof! Gone. I’m left standing there like an idiot, and the driver just stares at me. Awkward.

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