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Ever wonder what they dream ‘bout? Candy said she wants a dog. A fuckin’ dog, man! Simple shit we take for granted. Got me all mushy, thinkin’ she’s picturin’ a mutt while she’s on her knees. Exaggeratin’ here, but maybe she’s a secret poet or somethin’. Dr. Evil—pinky up, “One million dollars!”—I’d pay to hear her story, unedited.

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So, I roll into town early, like 7 AM. The sun’s just peeking over the hills. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, gonna grab a coffee at the local café.” You know, the one on Market Street? Yeah, that place. Best flat whites in town. But nah, it’s packed! Like, what’s up with that? I mean, it’s Blenheim, not Auckland!

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